Allison Quets has many degrees but unfortunately none of her degrees prepare her for loss issues related to giving up a child. No University degree prepares a woman for an open or a closed adoption.There is no television program to educate pregnant women on adoption.Have you ever heard of such a program or station? Perhaps in women's studies at the University level the history of out of wedlock pregnancies since the Victorian Era is covered. But adoption loss and the pain of grief and morning? Doubtful....

Allison Quets has never seen anyone on U.S. television discussing adoption loss issues. Not even Oprah Winfrey or Dr. Phil cover this important women's issue. The experts on this issue are mothers like myself who have experienced the hell of postponed grief and mourning. "I don't know how I made it through the almost two years of pain and anguish".

Mothers like myself have become informed but are not seen in the media discussing this important women's issue. I the early 90's some mothers in New York City made an attempt to be included in a day time talk show on grief and Loss but were told by the show's guest expert their grief was not valid. This is an issue of women who were closeted and followed adoptees in coming out of that closet. Neither adoptees nor natural or birth/natural parents were listened to for many years.. Actually we were highly criticized and vilified for wanting rights to identity and wanting to find children. I can tell you firsthand because I am the founder of Manhattan Birthparents Support Group and lead that group for 12 years. To this day there are those who refuse to listen.

The recent Evan B. Donaldson Study on Birth Parents did receive some press throughout the country but did not make the New YorkTimes,nor television. The institute is the foremost think tank on adoption issues in the U.S. None of us were there when Allison Quets picked up the phone to call the adoption agency therefore we don't know for certain about her health issues. We don't know if there was someone, her boyfriend perhaps pushing her or undermining her confidence. It's so easy for someone to undermine a woman's confidence. Especially when that woman's health is failing. How many books are available to Allison on the long lasting implications of surrendering to adoption? How many are in Oprah Winfrey's book club?

Did anyone ever mention the words, "adoption loss" or the book, "Adoption and Loss, The Hidden Grief" by Australian Evelyn Burns Robinson to her? I'm sure that the agency she contacted did not mention adoption loss especially as the adoption was open. When will Americans wake up to adoption surrender as loss? We wish that women were educated on adoption loss and women's history. Much of women's history is hidden away from the general public in academia. The Quets case just could be the wake up call needed for women to become educated.